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Re: Divorce advise

I think lack of communications big elephant in room

Re: Divorce advise

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penguin23 (Post 21533567)

If the wife cannot be upfront about the reason why you two are breaking up, it is virtually certain that another man is involved

Do not rush and try to find out his identity, keep cool as much as possible. Their horniness will lead to carelessness and they will surely arrange to meet. Collect enough evidence, not for the sake of getting a divorce but to display certain aspects of her character in Family Court (if you wish to fight for Care and Control).

Remember that Revenge is a dish best served cold. I exposed the identity of my ex-wife's first lover by arranging for the court server to serve his notice to attend court, during morning assembly. He was teaching in a Convent school as a teacher - the school principal straightaway put him on leave and shortly after he lost his job. There isn't much sympathy for people like that. He was single and he fucked another person's wife, so pretty much gg when his identity is revealed.

I also learnt that once someone cheats, he or she will surely cheat again. So over time there were more and more third parties and I finally accepted the bitter truth and moved on. Along the way I learnt many useful tips and tricks about the law - I learnt, for example how useless a PPO is and also how to draw the line so you can hurt someone without being arrested. Police are generally sympathetic to the party that they deem to be the "wronged" party and will exercise prosecutorial discretion.

absolutely agreed.. tendency to cheat again will come.... as happened with my ex wife..
thank god i got no kids..
i got my own story to share but thats for another day...

Re: Divorce advise

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garage1 (Post 21616825)

absolutely agreed.. tendency to cheat again will come.... as happened with my ex wife..
thank god i got no kids..
i got my own story to share but thats for another day...

Happy for you bro.

Women hate to hear these words, but the simple sad fact is, sometimes we make mistakes and end up marrying a slut, so cut loss and move on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penguin23 (Post 21618635)

Happy for you bro.

Women hate to hear these words, but the simple sad fact is, sometimes we make mistakes and end up marrying a slut, so cut loss and move on.

Thanks bro
U are right
Women hate to hear those words
Even if u confront with evidence, they can always use that and push the blame back to u
Kinda ironic
Slut or gold diggers

1 thing i want to share is after i got divorced
Then i realised there are so many cheating cases outside
Man/woman both equally

Maybe im a traditionalist
I was shocked upon hearing
What ever happ to staying faithful etc

No wonder young pple are not getting married
Low birth rates
High divorce rates

Re: Divorce advise

Quote:

Originally Posted by Garage1 (Post 21618923)

The breakdown of the traditional family setup, I think has many factors. That's probably far outside the scope and intent of this thread, but some reasons are plain to see

Social Media and the Internet is a constant source of temptation - judging by your profile which is even older than mine, you are probably in your mid-50s at least. In our younger days, we had to search hard to find contraband copies of Playboy/Penthouse or smuggled in copies of foreign porn magazines. Propriety in relationships was held in high esteem, even the whiff of impropriety can destroy careers/livelihoods. None of that is true today. Our very own Minister for Law famously cheated on his first wife, so what can I say, lol.

The younger generation are generally addicted to the idea of instant gratification. Suffering in silence is not an option - if they aren't happy they break up quite quickly and leave. There is good and bad in this approach, from the perspective of maximizing personal happiness but this is certainly not the ideal setup to bring up a child within a family environment.

Cheaters are generally never sorry when they are confronted, especially if they are women. My ex-wife tried to throw me over the balcony (which was laughable as I weighed twice her weight, nevermind whatever judoka qualifications she may have held, weight classes in competitions are there for a reason lol). Her sex partner was equally adamant and blatant despite being shamed in public.

Those who already been through the journey will realize, when the pain of divorce is firmly in the rear-view mirror and emotions cool.....I do think back how stupid I was in gathering so much "evidence"......because in the end, what really matters is what you do with your life after you split, and whether you are much happier without the ex.

For me, thankfully...I made the right decision to divorce and never regretted it. My children are happier too!

Re: Divorce advise

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penguin23 (Post 21619154)

i agree.. the modern generation mentality really is .. if not happy then divorce.. they no longer hold on to the traditional values of repairing or making things work.. and yes, social media is a big issue which I BELIEVE is 1 of the contributing factor in making people divorce..
think abt it..
example - i duno you or yr wife but a simple search might be able to find yr wife name etc and thus lead me to message .. the rest is history....

my profile -? i prob register earlier than u. im in my early 40s..
i consider myself to be a traditionalist towards marriage, thus this divorce ONCE hurt me and scarred me..