Quote:
Originally Posted by larue
12 years old big difference. At that age, which parent they wish to stay with will carry a lot of weight in court.
If you are certain that your son will say that he prefers to stay with you (no, he won't be asked with his mother present), and you can prove that you can take care of him, financially, have a place for him to stay, stable environment etc, you chances are greatly improved.
Of course we don't know whether you can satisfy all these other conditions, since you mentioned you're in debt and chased out of your own home, although I don't know how that can happen. The home is in your name as well? There is cash value in it after selling? Enough to clear your debts from your share? Where can you and your son stay? Are you employed? Many questions.
What I feel about your care though, is that you should fight. Do it for your son. You have fuxked him up enough by marrying this woman, giving in to her every time, and then having him.
Children need emotionally stable parenting, do you want to subject him to her emotional abuse and blackmail growing up? I can imagine the outcomes that await him in life if you do that, and they are mostly not good ones.
Custody will always be joint, barring the most exceptional of caes and yours is not exceptional enough that either one of you will get sole custody, which applies only to major decisions like which school to attend, approval for major surgery etc. Life affecting decisions.
Bro above gave good practical advice, especially about waiting. But at the same time these are crucial years for your son, and my own experience is that freeing my son from a toxic family environment is the best thing I have done for him.
Make sure your son understands what you're trying to do, talk to him. Parental abandonment is the worst emotional experience a child can have.
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thanks brother, i believe i can offer a better environment than his mother. the debts under my name are because of her and i got chased out and left the house to avoid further fights which i saw were damaging my son.
i appreciate practical advise like waiting till 16 years old but i worried abt my child's growth under his mother. My son asked me whether i think it is best for him to be with his mother. i cannot tell him that i have no money to fight for his custody so he has to live with his mother no matter if it is best for him or not. i want to try to show him that his father is not a bad person as described by his mother and the legal system will return me the justice i deserve after these years.