Quote:
Originally Posted by viola06
Update:
Just a little update. The FL added me back on wechat last night. But I didn’t talk to her. Woke up this morning with some messages from her saying that she is worried about me and ask if i am ok. Not those massive spam kind but i replied her this morning just to assure her i am fine. Beside i already deleted her number so i kinda moved on already. For now i will reduce my contact with her so to protect myself and I don’t want to disappear all of a sudden creating unnecessary distress also. Let’s hope this either end properly or we just remains as causal friends. Thanks for the replies from bros in this thread. Appreciates all the insight. Cheers!
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I am in a relationship with a Viet ex-KTV gal for the last 3 years, put in quite a bit of effort learnt learning the language and understanding Viet culture, so I thought I'll put in my perspective.
Your girl is probably just lonely and needs someone to talk to. The yearning for emotional intimacy is normal, and especially so if she has kept her FL job a secret from those around her.
Outright lies, half-truths and secrets are an integral part of Viet culture. If you ever watched the movie "Bo Gia" (Old Father), you will probably be shocked at the extent to which Viets maintain an external persona/image and hide secrets, even from family members. A woman hiding her job as an FL will feel extremely lonely and wants someone to talk to, and yes - though her work is by no means "respectable" she probably yearns for emotional intimacy and hopefully love. That is probably why she added you back. Amongst Viets, FLs are at the bottom of the literal totem pole in terms of respectability - even less so than a KTV girl, so the fact that she was desperate enough to take this step is socially humiliating and isolating for her.
If you do not want to have her in your life, because it is simply too complicated then it is best that you cut her off totally. She added you back, because she hopes that you will stay in hers. Being involved with someone from the industry is extremely difficult and nobody can be blamed for wanting to walk away. I think it is dangerous to assume that it is possible to stay as "casual friends" given the initial chemistry that you already have.
I applaud you for treating this gal first and foremost as a woman, and not like an FL. She probably felt it too, and hence she responded positively. Just be mindful, that in this kind of situation it is unrealistic to think that you can control your emotions and sustain a "middle ground", since there is already some chemistry.
All the best, whichever your choice(s) may be.