Originally Posted by Penguin23
I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:
1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.
Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)
2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.
3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".
I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.
So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.
So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.
For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.
Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.
I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.
My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.
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