[Nelsonlim]

First time posting a thread on sbf. Have been wanting to get this off my chest and see if other bros have had similar experience or can share their opinion.

Background. I’m in my mid 30s, married with 3 kids. I have a happy family with my wife. About 4 years ago I stumbled onto sbf and started chionging, having tried locals and foreigners from the various stables here. Reason for chionging was out of curiosity and seeking excitement in the bedroom. However all the chionging, though they were physically stimulating, still couldn’t satisfy me. 1 year ago I created a dating app account and matched with a Japanese lady. We continued to see each other for a year until we broke off, but still occasionally text each other, with the most recent text from her wishing me being happy new year 2024.

About the lady. She is Japanese, in her early 30s. Smart, pretty, slim, demure and classy. She speaks Japanese and English. She was going through a divorce (finally settled the divorce in end 2023) with her husband in Japan. She claimed that she divorced her husband as he was an alcoholic. She had relocated to SG in early 2022 with her 3 children to start afresh. She found a job in the finance sector working in the CBD area in end 2022.

She had her wild days in uni. After she found out that her bf cheated on her in uni, she started to sleep around with many guys (all of whom were foreigners (white-men)) for about 2 years. She finally decided to stop when she matched with a guy (also a white man) on a dating app and they dated for a few months before they broke up. She started working in the finance sector in Japan, where she later met and married her then-husband (Japanese), with whom they had 3 children.

After she and I matched on the dating app, we met for the first time and immediately clicked. She knew that I was married. We went on for more dates. I was attracted to her physically, emotionally and mentally.

The first time we ever had sex was in my car. It was my first time doing it in the car. I don’t know if it is generalization of Japanese women or just her, but her body was simply amazing. I have had my share of chionging many girls but she is simply the best by far. Perhaps it was also the emotions and deep conversations that we shared other than the physical act. Her body was perfect to me. She has such a slim waist, b cup boobs, small perky nipples, smooth skin all over, delicate fingers and toes, large eyes, thick black hair, fine facial features, and very demure as you would imagine a Japanese woman is. Her sex skills are out of this world. She is very very very wet down there, easily squirts when I rub my penis against her pussy. I have to prepare lots of tissue whenever we have sex in my car. Despite her wild days in uni, her pussy looks as though she is a virgin. She mutters out “kimochi” and other Japanese terms when we do it. She lets me cum in her mouth. She is everything you see in Japanese AV videos. All sorts of positions. In missionary position she looks at me with her large innocent eyes and puts her hand at her mouth. She asks me to choke her sometimes. In doggy she asks me to hold her hand and pump her hard. After first round of sex and resting, she eats my dick to make me hard for sex again. The maximum sex we had in a day was 6 times in a hotel.

One of the kinkiest sex we had was in the backseat of my car, with her 1.5 year old daughter seated in the front passenger seat. Another time was in her house in her bedroom, with the same daughter clapping us on as we passionately made love.

Sex was her was crazy good. And I guess that was the main reason I continued to take the risk to see her, despite her character flaws. She was needy sometimes, yet other times she would take a long time to reply messages. She asked questions about my wife and I and would be disturbed by it. I understood her anguish as she wanted me to herself. She didn’t want me to divorce my wife and accepted this fact. She just wanted to spend time with me instead of with my family.

Afterwards, we broke off. One month after the break up, she texted me again all of a sudden. We began to meet again, but broke off again. Later I texted her and we started to meet again. But broke off, again. It was a final break for about 2 months. When she texted me suddenly. We met again. Incidentally, I found out that she was already seeing another guy. We then broke up because I told her to focus on the guy and I would do the same with my family. I was guessing that she was sleeping with the guy but wanted me around as a back up. She said it was only fair that she could do what I was doing. Meaning she could see other people while I enjoyed the company of my wife and her. Then one day, during New Year’s Day, she texted me happy new year. I replied her back and that was it.

What do you guys think? I really crave for sex with her because no other girl I have tried on sbf can match her, not even close. If I were to rekindle with her, it would only be just for sex. Isn’t this kind of arrangement like an open relationship, meaning she see other guys including me? Even though she says it’s only me. But I highly doubt it. She has even gone overseas with that guy. I am guessing they broke up. But who knows they will patch up again given her volatile dating history. But the feeling and knowledge of her being close to other guys just pains me so much. And I don’t want to share my body with other guys. She often shares with me her she gets picked up by men in the streets, by uncles, by younger men, her colleagues. In the other hand I’m tried of her extreme mood swings and disrespectful attitude towards me just becuase I’m married. I acknowledge that I’m wrong too. So I’m ready to just give her up and stop everything we had. The images of having intimate times with her still lingers in my head but seeing her is risky too, that I lose my family and reputation.