My joys and woes with a thai WL-Pls advise

justl00king · #1 30-01-2007, 12:11 AM

Was a regular with a Cat40 until she ORD. Before she left, gave me her contact to go visit her back in Thailand. I visited her two times and developed a liking for her. Think very near/in minefield, trap or voodoo stage now. This is my first encounter so need all bros advise. My story like this...

Both times she stayed with me about one week. Never once asked me for money as I already told her beforehand that we friends and she was ok with it. Being the gentleman, of course paid for stuff like food and daily expenses. Also paid for some of her purchases which isn't much. Can sense that she is very independent like whenever I offered to pay for her purchases then she would let me pay or else she would always pay on her own.

When we were together we will do couples stuff which is fun. Communication not so good as I dun speak thai and sometimes the things I try to express dun think she fully understand. I told her I like her and she told me likewise or she would not have stayed with me. But now she wants to earn more and continue plying the trade so to save up some money and also open a shop. So she seems reluctant to open up to me fully as in showing affections or start any relationship.

I casually asked her how much is required for shop and she told me about Sin 10K. (Please note she never once asked me for any money). It was me who offered to give her the money so she can quit the WL biz. In my mind, I really wanted to help her so she can quit and also because I have a liking for her.I am comfortable with giving her this money.

Whenever I am back and tried calling her I could hardly reach her.She also rarely calls me her excuse being that she busy working and earning money as she not sure if I really meant what I say.I told her no worries I will see her next month and proceed from there.

So now I am confused. She tells me she likes me but doesn't show it. Even if she did not really liked me, in my mind all I ask is she really quit and open shop. Guess this is the joy of helping someone you really like. I really dunno if she meant it when she said she liked me or just a show. Also I do not want my money helping her to go to her gigolo or such. Think you guys know what I mean. Or maybe after giving her the money she disappeared on me.

As usual, this kind of relationship more woes than joys. Woes being I am thinking of her daily and cannot come to decision whether to proceed with giving her the money or maybe starting a relation. If I do not proceed, will never know the truth and what will become. I am leaning towards going forward with this.

So experienced bros pls advise. Am I being a carrot waiting to be chop?

oink71 · #2 30-01-2007, 12:27 AM

bro,

i think we got no comments on whether u spend money on her or not.... if you can afford to lose that sin 10k, then go ahead.... treat it as doing charity and expect any re-payment from this gal in any way...

coz if you are expecting something from her, then i can tell you that you may be let down coz this gal may play you out (50-50 chance)

abt u liking her.... are you thinking of marrying her? if you never want to marry her, then dun bother too much on her please......

be practical and logical on this kind of area of love.....

bottomline, if you want to give money, do it with a willing heart and mentally expect nothing from her.

if you cant do this mentally, then dun give or lend..... tis will save you alot of headaches in the future

BkkResident · #3 30-01-2007, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justl00king

So experienced bros pls advise. Am I being a carrot waiting to be chop?

Tirak Experts,kindly fall in for a summary.

As long as u are happy with the decision,just do it. There is no right or wrong. It takes two hands to clap.

bigass · #4 30-01-2007, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justl00king

I casually asked her how much is required for shop and she told me about Sin 10K. (Please note she never once asked me for any money). It was me who offered to give her the money so she can quit the WL biz. In my mind, I really wanted to help her so she can quit and also because I have a liking for her.I am comfortable with giving her this money.

when i go fishing, my bait nv go n look for the fishes, yet i still be able to catch one or even more during each trip. get the theories? i hope u are not getting a bucket of cold water pouring onto u, but i just wanna tell u to open yr eyes big n see

no hard feelings

vmtech · #5 30-01-2007, 05:59 AM

well u gave her the money on ur own accord, now $ on her side, its how she spends it.
although i dont know which part of thailand she stays, but 10k sgd wow more then sufficient to open a BIG shop

Rof|maoxz · #6 30-01-2007, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justl00king

So experienced bros pls advise. Am I being a carrot waiting to be chop?

Hey Bro, base on your occurrence, we won't be able to offer much advice, unless you have started to "invest" in her shop. From what I read, your ger still has no intention to settle down in due time. So I suggest you dun put all your eggs into one basket, play along, don't show her too much affection by showing her the money.

Need talk? Can come out for kopi lah.

just4fun · #7 30-01-2007, 11:05 AM

If u think u can part with ur 10k SGD without much "heartache" and also u r willing to give it up without asking anything from her...then just do it....

However, if u r thinking of using this 10k as a bait for future relationship....then i strongly suggest u dun...cos betrayal can be very damaging...

Also, if u r going to loan from ppl to help this lady...then i also suggest u dun do it...

Lastly, no one can actually give u any bright ideas esp when it comes to affair of the heart....so u need to think it over and over and see what u expect from this relationship at the end of the day....

Remember...if u dun expect anything at the beginning...anything that happens will be bonus...and i bet u will be a much happier man....

That's mine 0.02RMB worth of thoughts....

OceanEleven · #8 30-01-2007, 11:55 AM

Whatever you had written is too simple to explain such complicated matters you had especially when it comes to the matters of the heart. Whatever choice you gonna make will not only affect you but her as well. Whatever you have to offer is a little too shallow to fill the dump as well. You know her plight and you know your strength as well, where you are coming from is a one-way traffic where it is you and only you who you deem matter. Nothing much about her been mention and it may be a little too little for us to pass comments. Whatever that happens in the end, it is what she thinks and not us nor you to decide on. So move on, proceed with a cautious mind and read into the future.

Both yours and her lives are not a piece of blank paper, too much are at stake for both parties to wager on. Think of the many consequences and process of getting being together, perhaps it may shed a little light on how you might wanna proceed on.

surfer888 · #9 30-01-2007, 12:05 PM

Like what some bros have said. Give only what you can afford.

I used to give money to my PRC gf when I was working in China. Never did she once ask for it but I would still her money regularly. But it was money that I could well afford and I never expected anything in return. Treat it like pocket money for her and also as compensation for the time and effort spent on you.

Most importantly... never expect anything back. Zero expectations, Zero disappointments and everyone is happy.

#10 30-01-2007, 12:44 PM

Very simple trick, put long string, to get bigger fish. I always believe, once you did it to a girl and you pay money for it. Forget about relationship. Can you accept her or not? I know there are good nature WL out there. But you have to agree, there are 10 worse or evil WL out to get your money = to one good WL. Your money, you decide. Lose money is okay, but don't lose your heart. Because throughout your life, you going to carried this incident of being sucker if she out to get your money. And you wouldn't be so trusting in life anymore, and there are truely people out there whom are really in need of your help if the times' comes.

Castrol · #11 30-01-2007, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justl00king

I casually asked her how much is required for shop and she told me about Sin 10K. (Please note she never once asked me for any money). It was me who offered to give her the money so she can quit the WL biz.

bro, just give her the 10k and ask her to name the shop after you la.

druid · #12 30-01-2007, 02:29 PM

Hi,
cant advice u much. consider carefully if her actions are in sync with her words to u. my friend was in a similar situation as u a couple months back. in the end the girl just treated him like a toy. try to be rational and cynical when gauging her words and actions.

if its money u can well afford without going through any financial difficulty, look at it as a "foreign investment" into thailand....if u have to do extra stuff to cough up the 10k, then better not....

just my thoughts on this....im replying in another tread about rlsps with thai ladies too and ur situation is something that i discussed with my girl before.. ie opening a shop and quitting her current vocation

Cheri_Popper · #13 30-01-2007, 02:29 PM

There are many Samsters whom had shared their stories about Thai WL. Some had fairy tale endings and most have their dreams turned into nightmares.

When it comes to the affairs of the heart, as outsider, we can comment/advice but still in the end, the one who is going to make the final decision is you and not us.

If you can afford the 10K and you really love and have confidence in her then there is no need to think about it.

One thing that I can share with you is that Thai gals are shy by nature and tradition and don't show their feelings easily, they rather bottle up their feelings. And on them calling or SMSing you, it is also difficult. This is their CULTURE.

Good luck to you!

little ants · #14 30-01-2007, 02:31 PM

dude, i seriously think that you have been duped if u had pass her the cash to start the shop. sorry to hear abt it and i dun mean to sound nasty but if thats the case, u better move on and call it quits. enjoy while u can in these tirakship and when u feel that u r losing the plot, back off. coz its isn't gonna end in a fairy tale.

wildbeast · #15 30-01-2007, 02:32 PM

My humble opinion is

Are you serious to marry her? If NO, do not escalate the relationship further. As it is now means no one get HURT! If you do not see any "sunlight" in future to ur relationship, suggest you MOVE ON in life bro! $10K to assist her "shopping" I hv no comments. I feel is perfectly alright to fork out this amt to help even a friend or do charity!!!! Money is valuable only when spend correctly! Ur decision bro. Bottomline is I FEEL YOU SHD NOT CARRY ON WITH HER!

Take care and may the force be wif you!!!!