Re: Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelsonlim
Thanks for sharing your experience.
It is hard for me currently as emotions and lust clouding are my judgement.
What about just being friends with the Japanese lady? We have tried before but often times either both of us just gravitate towards each other and we end up being intimate and hurting each other afterwards.
I can’t wrap my head around it, not that it applies to all Japanese women, but why do they sleep around? I understand men in general do it for physical pleasure, but don’t most women need something like an emotional connection? I know her standards are high and is very picky. And like you said she knows that she is a good catch so she has many options to choose from. But after some time, won’t they feel that men are just making use of her body?
She claims that she is only doing what I’m doing, that is I’m sleeping with my wife and going overseas with her. But I don’t think it is the same because I don’t go around, make the effort to meet new and different people to have sex.
In the latest episode where I confronted her on having sex with another guy, she initially said why can’t she do it, but a few days later she changes her story and says she never f*cked any guy. But her later story and her initial explanation don’t match. At first she took full day leave, later she said she took half day leave, or she was with her kids, but later said she was with her colleagues, etc. I can only guess that she broke up with this guy and wants me back. Like you said, I can’t bear myself to imagine all the intimate moments we shared, she shared with some other people. And now barely a month with a new guy, she wants me back. So for a peace of mind I should just leave her to her own business. Or just accept that I’m one of her f*ck buddies? I find it hard to believe that those sweet nothings that she muttered to me while we make love are said to other men. Feel so betrayed.
How did you meet so many Japanese ladies?
therein lies your lack of understanding with women. or to be specific, attractive women. and in-born misogynistic values of -> man can fuck around for pleasure but if a woman does it, she must have been tricked into it.
The truth is beautiful people (both man and woman) have no lack of top-tiered suitors and delicious opportunities. all they have to do is to be open minded (socially acceptable word for promiscuous) and they will be swimming in sexual encounters.
The day you can separate play as play and reality as reality, is the day you become a real chiongster.
imagine if you're attractive enough to be invited into an orgy or a swing. and there is that chance to fuck 6 - 8 girls in a night. are you going to question their life choices? their promiscuity? their decisions leading to this? their jobs? their identities?
NO! you are there to pleasure and be pleasured. thats it. why break your head pondering?
the sex captivated you because of the whole jav allure and because you're new to playing. but a short flight to the good clubs of yoshiwara or any of the good on calls and you'll forget her in an instance.
Re: Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelsonlim
Unfortunately no videos, though it did come across my mind. We didn’t even take a photo together to minimize the risk of being found out by my wife. Sadly only can playback in my head.
Well, if you ever do meet up again, maybe a last fling, just put on voice or sound recording if she does not allow vids.
I do that sometimes to reminisce when the vocals are particularly nice
therein lies your lack of understanding with women. or to be specific, attractive women. and in-born misogynistic values of -> man can fuck around for pleasure but if a woman does it, she must have been tricked into it.
The truth is beautiful people (both man and woman) have no lack of top-tiered suitors and delicious opportunities. all they have to do is to be open minded (socially acceptable word for promiscuous) and they will be swimming in sexual encounters.
The day you can separate play as play and reality as reality, is the day you become a real chiongster.
imagine if you're attractive enough to be invited into an orgy or a swing. and there is that chance to fuck 6 - 8 girls in a night. are you going to question their life choices? their promiscuity? their decisions leading to this? their jobs? their identities?
NO! you are there to pleasure and be pleasured. thats it. why break your head pondering?
the sex captivated you because of the whole jav allure and because you're new to playing. but a short flight to the good clubs of yoshiwara or any of the good on calls and you'll forget her in an instance.
Thanks for your insight. I’m not inferring that women who sleep around do so because they get tricked into. I believe that most women, whether attractive or not, choose carefully who they want to be intimate with, usually looking at more than physical attributes, unlike most men who will jump at the opportunity when presented to them.
Yes attractive people naturally get more attention. No doubt about that.
I have no interest and do not question the intentions of girls who offer services through sbf, sugar babies, etc., I’m sure that have their reasons to do what they do and are free to do so within legal means. It is mutually beneficial to both parties in an agreed arrangement so that is fine.
I once had an arrangement with an attractive girl. She was an ex sia cabin crew and now a property agent. She shared that she had been invited and attended orgies on yachts and masked orgies in private homes. Everyone would be drunk and f*cking around with whoever they like. Rich men pay, attractive ladies get paid. She had completely left those wild days behind because she said money can be earned in many ways, but some ways are demeaning and she would not subject herself to those experiences again.
I think I won’t be a suitable chiongster in your definition because I for one will not accept an invitation to an orgy. I prefer private and intimate spaces with someone where both have developed a liking for each over time. This process takes more effort but in my limited experience, the satisfaction derived is many times more pleasurable than a one-off sex encounter with a stranger or paid service.
That’s why I think I’ve been disillusioned by this Japanese lady. I initially chose to believe that she really did like me but I was too foolish to accept the truth, that is she opens her heart easily to other men. Admittedly I’m at fault too becuase I cannot commit 100% to her since I’m married. I’m fine with her decision, she can do what she pleases, but I have decided to stay out of her business.
Re: Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelsonlim
Thanks for your insight. I’m not inferring that women who sleep around do so because they get tricked into. I believe that most women, whether attractive or not, choose carefully who they want to be intimate with, usually looking at more than physical attributes, unlike most men who will jump at the opportunity when presented to them.
Yes attractive people naturally get more attention. No doubt about that.
I have no interest and do not question the intentions of girls who offer services through sbf, sugar babies, etc., I’m sure that have their reasons to do what they do and are free to do so within legal means. It is mutually beneficial to both parties in an agreed arrangement so that is fine.
I once had an arrangement with an attractive girl. She was an ex sia cabin crew and now a property agent. She shared that she had been invited and attended orgies on yachts and masked orgies in private homes. Everyone would be drunk and f*cking around with whoever they like. Rich men pay, attractive ladies get paid. She had completely left those wild days behind because she said money can be earned in many ways, but some ways are demeaning and she would not subject herself to those experiences again.
I think I won’t be a suitable chiongster in your definition because I for one will not accept an invitation to an orgy. I prefer private and intimate spaces with someone where both have developed a liking for each over time. This process takes more effort but in my limited experience, the satisfaction derived is many times more pleasurable than a one-off sex encounter with a stranger or paid service.
That’s why I think I’ve been disillusioned by this Japanese lady. I initially chose to believe that she really did like me but I was too foolish to accept the truth, that is she opens her heart easily to other men. Admittedly I’m at fault too becuase I cannot commit 100% to her since I’m married. I’m fine with her decision, she can do what she pleases, but I have decided to stay out of her business.
I have been in your situation before. What helped me get over it was simply thinking about the inevitable downside when news of your affair is finally out. Let's face it, very few can get away having an emotional affair with such frequent meetups without being found out.
From what I've seen in many instances, it is not your wife's reaction that will be difficult to handle, but the children's. Memories of your great fucks with your Jap lady will fade over time, and given your impossible situation there is no possibility of a happy ending for the two of you. If your children find out what you have done and your wife casts you as the villain (which you admittedly are), the kids will never see their father in the same light ever again.
Think of that, before you decide to do something stupid by continuing this dalliance. In my case, I was extremely lucky that my affairs were strictly kept under wraps and it was my ex wife's affairs that the children found out about.
Until today my kids don't see their mum the same way as before the divorce and I know she will regret her decision (to fuck around) for the rest of her life. She has spent the last years desperately trying to make things better with the kids but she knows that the damage done to her image is irreversible.
I have written about the impact of the divorce in several other threads. Base case since it was the wife that strayed, so I got Care and Control of both my kids, and my ex wife got zero alimony (not even thr nominal $1/month) plus zero extra share of the matrimonial property - So in effect Women's Charter gives zero protection to a woman who strays because the family court will not award care and control to a parent who cannot show that they can bring up the kids in an environment that is conducive to their well being.
I sometimes think, how my kids will handle it if they ever find out how I indulged in commercial sex while still married to their mum. I think if they are adults themselves when the truth comes to light, I believe it will be much easier for come to terms with it.
Think about the downside scenario i outlined above, hope that helps your resolve to cut her off completely from your life. Emotional affairs are the worst, because the wounds are the hardest ones to recover from. I understand that even experienced chiongsters will, from time to time, meet their kryptonite. Some ladies are simply unforgettable and irresistible fucks that in the heat of the moment you will be happy to give up everything for....but reality bites.
I have been in your situation before. What helped me get over it was simply thinking about the inevitable downside when news of your affair is finally out. Let's face it, very few can get away having an emotional affair with such frequent meetups without being found out.
From what I've seen in many instances, it is not your wife's reaction that will be difficult to handle, but the children's. Memories of your great fucks with your Jap lady will fade over time, and given your impossible situation there is no possibility of a happy ending for the two of you. If your children find out what you have done and your wife casts you as the villain (which you admittedly are), the kids will never see their father in the same light ever again.
Think of that, before you decide to do something stupid by continuing this dalliance. In my case, I was extremely lucky that my affairs were strictly kept under wraps and it was my ex wife's affairs that the children found out about.
Until today my kids don't see their mum the same way as before the divorce and I know she will regret her decision (to fuck around) for the rest of her life. She has spent the last years desperately trying to make things better with the kids but she knows that the damage done to her image is irreversible.
I have written about the impact of the divorce in several other threads. Base case since it was the wife that strayed, so I got Care and Control of both my kids, and my ex wife got zero alimony (not even thr nominal $1/month) plus zero extra share of the matrimonial property - So in effect Women's Charter gives zero protection to a woman who strays because the family court will not award care and control to a parent who cannot show that they can bring up the kids in an environment that is conducive to their well being.
I sometimes think, how my kids will handle it if they ever find out how I indulged in commercial sex while still married to their mum. I think if they are adults themselves when the truth comes to light, I believe it will be much easier for come to terms with it.
Think about the downside scenario i outlined above, hope that helps your resolve to cut her off completely from your life. Emotional affairs are the worst, because the wounds are the hardest ones to recover from. I understand that even experienced chiongsters will, from time to time, meet their kryptonite. Some ladies are simply unforgettable and irresistible fucks that in the heat of the moment you will be happy to give up everything for....but reality bites.
Wow thanks. Your input has given me the closure I need and put the matter to rest. Indeed thinking about the “what if” is definitely not worth the risk.
Glad to hear about your situation, hopefully your ex-wife manage somehow to get on with her life meaningfully, it is indeed the biggest regret one has to disappoint their children. You were fortunate not to be exposed, and then got care and control over your kids without having to pay alimony. Did you or your ex re-marry? Wish you and your family the best. Will read your other threads.
I have been in your situation before. What helped me get over it was simply thinking about the inevitable downside when news of your affair is finally out. Let's face it, very few can get away having an emotional affair with such frequent meetups without being found out.
From what I've seen in many instances, it is not your wife's reaction that will be difficult to handle, but the children's. Memories of your great fucks with your Jap lady will fade over time, and given your impossible situation there is no possibility of a happy ending for the two of you. If your children find out what you have done and your wife casts you as the villain (which you admittedly are), the kids will never see their father in the same light ever again.
Think of that, before you decide to do something stupid by continuing this dalliance. In my case, I was extremely lucky that my affairs were strictly kept under wraps and it was my ex wife's affairs that the children found out about.
Until today my kids don't see their mum the same way as before the divorce and I know she will regret her decision (to fuck around) for the rest of her life. She has spent the last years desperately trying to make things better with the kids but she knows that the damage done to her image is irreversible.
I have written about the impact of the divorce in several other threads. Base case since it was the wife that strayed, so I got Care and Control of both my kids, and my ex wife got zero alimony (not even thr nominal $1/month) plus zero extra share of the matrimonial property - So in effect Women's Charter gives zero protection to a woman who strays because the family court will not award care and control to a parent who cannot show that they can bring up the kids in an environment that is conducive to their well being.
I sometimes think, how my kids will handle it if they ever find out how I indulged in commercial sex while still married to their mum. I think if they are adults themselves when the truth comes to light, I believe it will be much easier for come to terms with it.
Think about the downside scenario i outlined above, hope that helps your resolve to cut her off completely from your life. Emotional affairs are the worst, because the wounds are the hardest ones to recover from. I understand that even experienced chiongsters will, from time to time, meet their kryptonite. Some ladies are simply unforgettable and irresistible fucks that in the heat of the moment you will be happy to give up everything for....but reality bites.
How did you gather evidence about your ex’s affairs to be used in court?
Re: Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelsonlim
How did you gather evidence about your ex’s affairs to be used in court?
I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:
1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.
Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)
2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.
3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".
I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.
So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.
So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.
For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.
Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.
I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.
My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.
I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:
1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.
Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)
2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.
3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".
I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.
So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.
So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.
For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.
Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.
I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.
My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.
Thanks for your detailed sharing. I learnt quite a fair bit. Is it legal to hire PI to track this Japanese woman for my case? Or if PI only legal if used for marriage matters?
I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:
1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.
Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)
2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.
3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".
I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.
So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.
So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.
For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.
Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.
I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.
My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.
Thanks for your detailed sharing. I learnt quite a fair bit. Is it legal to hire PI to track this Japanese woman for my case? Or is PI only legal if used for marriage matters?
Re: Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?
I think you should make a clean break. Sometimes when you know the lady got some emotional baggage ah, it's not worth it to keep it going la. Keep the memories as fap material and keep your eyes open for next target.
Keep the drama for your own household. Don't take on new drama because the sex is good. Long term bo hua
04-01-2024, 12:12 AM
. yes many jap PDMM around too.
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